By the time the coffee is ready, our toaster has done its thing. I grab the creamer, butter, and fruit from the fridge. Eating and reading text messages on my phone another day is in full swing. 

Mid-week traffic is the same bumper to bumper. Why do the construction crews have a lane closed in the middle of morning rush hour? Geez, I think if I oversaw the highway, that would change. It is illogical to have all these cars and trucks merging into one lane at 7 in the morning. 

In my office, sitting at my desk, the barrage of papers, calls, and meetings begins, along with a second cup of coffee. When I can close my office door, I think. Had I done that yet today? Enjoying a moment of solitude, I realize it was time for lunch. 

I join a group of colleagues in the lunchroom while eating today’s menu fare. The usual lets catch up on the latest sports event last evening, office gossip, and return to work. Another meeting where nothing gets resolved after the same hashing over issues and pointing fingers. When I return to my desk, there are emails, return phone calls, that all need my attention. In the recess of my mind soon it will be time to go home.

Sitting in traffic, the opposite side of the highway flowed. I’m looking forward to getting home, taking off this suit, get comfortable and enjoy family time. 

Dinner conversation, rehash of the day. News the same reports on every channel I turn to. Eight o’clock we watch the usual shows, then it is time for bed. Lying there in the solitude of the nighttime sounds, and darkness, a thought germinates. I try to hold on to my mind’s wonderings. A notion takes shape. I hang on to streaming words that rehash my day. Slowly, the ramblings take place. The day’s events are part of a routine that I’ve created. None of it must be the same. It’s time for me to take a different approach. Reframe how I live each day, instead enjoy the moments as they are ever changing. Change. I needed to change how I approach my day and how I want to live it. 

I paid attention to unimportant things first. Three days into listening to my predawn alarm, I paid attention to the sound of birds. Each creating distinct sounds from what I heard yesterday. But then I thought, Is it different? To test my theory, I recorded the birds for several days. There were differences each day. 

Each morning, my alarm makes the same annoying noise. I didn’t realize it was infuriating until I noted the contrast to my predawn bird alarm. Solution I found a sound that complimented my predawn alarm. After a couple of days, I felt refreshed. A realization occurred. I was in control and decided to make some changes. For example, what happened to the experience of making coffee each morning? I swore by the coffeemaker overnight feature. Sure, it might take me a few extra minutes. However, the ritual of grinding the beans, the sound of pouring water into the pot and touching the brew button was comforting. 

As I turned the water on for my shower, I noticed how the early morning light created a nice ambiance when the overhead lights were off. The sound of the shower water slowly splashing over my body on to the tub floor was comforting. I dried off and began my sink ritual, the early morning sunlight bounced off the walls, reminding me of a spa.

Instead of my week morning breakfast of toast, juice, and coffee, I chose yogurt, fresh blueberries, and a slice of the left-over baguette from last night’s dinner, with brie. I made a plate for my spouse. Instead of reading phone messages this morning, I was present. My food was enjoyable. In the quiet, my mind continues this journey of wonderment. Of course, my spouse thought I was acting strange, but no worries there. 

After breakfast, I dressed skipping the morning news shows. I always listen to the news in the car. But today I bypassed the news for the sound of brunch jazz music. On the highway, this morning’s drive was the same congestion. Cars sat waiting to move, I watched the sky colors change to shades of blue. Listening to soothing music along with the shapes of the clouds and the sun’s transition slowly crept into place, washing the world with brightness. Traffic didn’t seem as annoying to me. I realized my fellow commuters and I had shared commonalities. We all had somewhere to go work or school. 

My day at work went by quickly. The usual irritations were there, but I felt different. Instead of eating with my colleagues, I went outside, found a food truck, and sat at the table basking in an unfamiliar experience. I was almost at peace with the day as I drove home. After dinner, I took a walk and reflected on my last couple of days. What was different? For one, my morning approach for several days had changed and that set the tone for how I approached my morning. I wanted to go deeper. The following week around Wednesday, instead of eating lunch with the guys, I did something different. An incentive to eat al fresco in the nice warm weather. I selected a cuisine from a popular food truck instead of listening to the barrage of work office complaints and gossip in the cafeteria. When I returned to my office after lunch, my irritability lessened, and that feeling of overwhelm felt reduced. 

My daily commute still included traffic, some lane closures, but I looked at my fellow commuters differently. We were all experiencing the same congestion, headed to a particular destination, and had family issues to manage. We had a commonality. 

The next change was our nightly routine. Why rush through dinner to watch programs broadcast at a certain time? I no longer wanted to be controlled by the dictates of television time slots, missing the opportunity to enjoy time with my spouse. Instead of rushing dinner, we sat and enjoyed our meal, talking face to face and not over our phone screens. I learned something about how I listened to my spouse and saw attributes I took for granted were pleasurable. We lingered over dinner, laughing. Our routine of cleaning up so we could rush to watch television altered. Did it really matter if we watched a particular show when we could stream it later? The streaming movie we usually put off until the weekend to enjoy when we had more time we watched during the week. Not watching programmed timed shows, we enjoyed a movie with our dessert. Movie time became fun. No longer relegated to network programs, repeat commercials to roll our eyes or grab a snack out of boredom. Instead, we found a new way to unwind as we flirted, sparking a lingering intimacy well beyond the movie.

Another idea of change was incubating. I felt less stressed. I had more time on my hands. Week two, with changes in my morning routine, I added an extra ten pleasurable minutes ahead of my usual time. 

At work, I viewed my colleagues differently. My commuter family, I saw in a different light. Like me, they probably had challenges and responsibilities at work. For the next couple of days, I focused on seeing people I interacted with through a new lens. My colleagues became people I was concerned about. I paid attention to how they spoke and really listened. I cared! By waiting until they finished speaking, I learned to appreciate the depth of their spirit. I listened to their intonation, seriously viewed them as fellow human beings who had feelings and opinions. It didn’t matter whether I agreed or disagreed; it was my gift to listen. Sounds strange, but I realized I was guilty of occasionally tuning them out because I was not interested in their conversation. When I changed my attitude I benefitted. How? One way was if I struggled with the problem, my colleague might have the solution. Or we worked together to find an answer.

The reality of my new epiphany every moment is unique. When we take time to embrace these moments, our perspective changes. What we dread is temporary, not permanent.