When you moved on and others or your abuser want to keep you where you were. Speaking with a friend, let’s call her Joanie called me dismayed that three years of all the court proceedings, and her abuser jailed, her life was on track. Joanie moved to a new state, registered at a nearby college, and pursued a career opportunity.
I knew from previous conversations how important this was to her as I had a similar experience while completing my Master’s program. Joanie’s dedicated efforts to complete this degree would open professional opportunities for her. We had played phone tag for about a week, when she texted asking was I was available to chat. The call began with Joanie telling me about a series of unidentifiable letters she had received. Months prior, in a standard white envelope with unfamiliar handwriting and an unfamiliar return address, was a letter. Assuming it to be junk mail, she did what I know I would have done to put it in the garbage. A few months later, another letter, much like the first, arrived. Joanie, preoccupied with her academic pursuits, she neglected to read it and instead placed it among other mail to be reviewed at a later time.
She began sorting through the mail that had accumulated, which was a combination of junk and bills during her break from work and school. To her horror, what she perceived to have been junk mail was from her jailed abuser, used a fellow inmate to write the letters for him. Unfortunately, this opened the doors for her to return to what was behind her and revisit her abusive experience. I did what for her, what others have done for me when the trauma of my abuse revisits my present. For my dear friend Joanie, I listened to her concerns, encouraged her, and what is part of my life and personal beliefs is to pray.
We may think we’ve outgrown certain situations, but there’s always a chance we could end up in a comparable one. Commit to be there for each other and offer a listening ear and a shoulder to lean on. One never knows when our past might come knocking on our door, whether it’s a person or our own memories. I encourage you to be strong and stand firm in your beliefs, and have faith in your abilities. Believe me, you are not alone. Many of us standing with you.